Beautiful Child, Broken Dream
by GypsySmiles
Summary: When Sara loses a part of her she never knew, can anyone help her heal? (NickSara!)
1. What? Why?

Title: Beautiful Child, Broken Dream

Disclaimer: I don't own… just borrowing!

Rating: PG-13 now, R later?

Summary: When Sara loses a part of her she never knew, can anyone help her heal? (NickSara!)

A/N: This is my first CSI fic. Be gentle, but honest! I love CSI so much I'm taking a class on forensics. -D

**Thursday February 10th**

Sara awoke, shaking and in pain. Clutching her stomach, she struggled to the bathroom. Horrified, she discovered that she was bleeding quite heavily. Terrified, she called 911. Before the ambulance arrived, Sara passed out.

"Sara, Sara… can you hear me?" a quiet female voice asked. Sara blinked her eyes open, the bright lights blinding her.

"Where… where am I? What happened?" Sara asked, looking around, confused.

"You're at Desert Palms, I'm Nurse O'Shanahan. I'm sorry to tell you, that you've had a miscarriage. I know it's never easy to lose a baby. I'm sorry, for your loss."

"I can't have had a miscarriage! I'm not pregnant." Sara said disbelieving.

"You were, hun, almost 5 weeks, the doctor estimates. You didn't know?" Nurse O'Shanahan asked genuinely worried.

"Oh… god, a baby. A baby! I would have… Oh my god. What time is it?" Sara asked; a flood of panic coursing through her. Was she late for work?

"A little after 6. Is everything okay? Is there someone I can call for you?"

"Yes…" she writes the first number that pops into her head. "Please, just tell her I'm okay. Don't tell her what happened."

"Okay, Sara, why don't you lay back and get some rest." Nurse O'Shanahan left the room to make the phone call.

Sara laid her head back and tried to calm her racing mind. Her mind was still reeling from the fact that she had been pregnant only hours before.

Catherine nearly dropped her phone, as the nurse was attempting to explain why she couldn't tell her what happened to Sara. Politely, Catherine ended the conversation, and sprinted out of her house, heading to the hospital. Parking her Tahoe, she sprinted into the hospital.

"Hi. Can you tell me where I can find a patient of yours? Her name is Sara Sidle…" Catherine breathlessly asked the reception nurse. The nurse guided her to room 338, and Catherine thanked her, pausing momentarily to catch her breath before entering the room. She had prepared herself for the worst, and there Sara was reclining in a bed, looking quite uninjured. Somewhere between bewildered and relieved, Catherine sat in the chair beside Sara's bed.

"Hi, Cath… thanks for coming. I… I needed… you'd understand." Sara explained, still somewhat out of it.

"Sara, honey, what happened?" Catherine looked genuinely concerned.

"I miscarried." A lone tear ran down Sara's cheek

"I didn't know you were pregnant! Why didn't you tell me honey…?" Catherine took Sara's hand in hers. After a few tense moments that seemed like years, Sara answered.

"I didn't know."

TBC!


	2. When you need a friend

Beautiful Child, Broken Dream

Chapter 2: Overcome

Disclaimer: If I owned them, I wouldn't be swamped up to my ears with student loans!

A/N: This chapter has been somewhat difficult for me to write.

As Sara struggled to fight back her tears, Catherine sat stunned, by her bedside.

So many questions flooded Catherine's mind. Sara looked at her coworker, and smiled sadly.

"Catherine, I want to apologize, and not because Ecklie is forcing me to. I've been a raging bitch lately for no reason. I do treasure your friendship, and I'm sorry I said cruel things to you."

"Sara, there's no need to apologize, although it makes more sense now."

"What does?" Sara looked puzzled.

"When I was pregnant with Lindsay, my moods fluctuated so much that I could hardly keep up with them. I felt completely out of control. Hormones." Cath explained.

"Figures, right? I turn into a raging bitch and everyone just assumes that it has to do with the case or me being mad at someone…" Sara shook her head "and Ecklie, well he's just… I think he's annoyed that I'm not attracted to him or something."

"What?" Catherine snorted "Ecklie is such a tool."

"He asked me out once, and I turned him down, somewhat cruelly."

"Ah, so that's why he dislikes you so much, right Sar." Cath joked.

The mood in the room changed when a nurse came in to check on Sara. "How are you doing Ms. Sidle?" Nurse O'Shanahan asked.

"Better. When can I go home?" Sara was antsy to leave, and try to put the whole traumatizing experience behind her.

"I'm not sure. Doctor Mancula wants to check on you again before she releases you. She should be by in an hour or so." The nurse apologized, sensing Sara's disappointment "I'm sorry, we've been swamped today."

"It's okay, I understand." Sara said, sighing. When Nurse O'Shanahan left the room, Sara looked at Catherine.

"What am I going to do? Catherine, I've lost a part of myself."

"I know how you feel, hun. I've miscarried twice. It broke my heart. But I knew… and I can only imagine how much harder it is on you." Cath took Sara's hand in hers.

"You..? When?" Sara gestured for Cath to sit on the bed.

"The first time, when Lindsay was 2, and the second time was about 2 years before you came to Vegas. It doesn't get any easier."

"How… how do I tell him? I mean, we were careful… so this'll be out of the blue, for him too." Sara was getting nervous.

"Sit him down and tell him that despite the precautions you took, you had a miscarriage and that is how you discovered you had been pregnant."

"I don't know how Nick is gonna react…shit." Sara realized she'd let the cat out of the bag. Catherine simply smirked at her with a grin that said she'd known.

"I had a feeling you two were seeing each other. He'll be okay." Catherine consoled. Their conversation was cut short, because Dr. Mancula entered the room.

"Hello Sara, are you feeling better?" Dr. Mancula asked.

"Yeah, better." Sara responded.

"I'm going to put you on medication to prevent infection. Here is the prescription, and now you are free to go. A nurse will be up soon to escort you out."

"Thank you Dr. Mancula." Sara said, growing excited about her discharge.

Half an hour later, Catherine and Sara were on their way to the pharmacy to pick up Sara's prescription. Catherine's cell rang, and she answered it boredly. "Willows."

"Hi Nick… no, I've kidnapped her. She's with me. We're out running errands right now. Um… she forgot it. Would you like to talk to her?" Sara's heart raced as Catherine handed her the phone.

"Hi Nick."

"Hi Sara."

"Would you like to go out to lunch later?"

"Sure, but… why?"

"I have something to tell you."

"Okay Sara-bear… see you later. Is 1 okay?"

"1 is great… pick me up?"

"Of course hun... see you then!"

"Bye Nick."

"Bye Sara."

"You told him I left my cell phone at home?" Sara looked at Catherine like she'd grown another head or three.

"Yeah, why?" Catherine shrugged.

"I'm attached to the world by my electronic leash!" Sara exclaimed

"You can tell him later then." Cath rationalized, stopping at the pharmacy.

Sara's stomach flip flopped as the hours ticked by. Soon it was 12:45. Sara was shaking. She had attempted to cover up the dark circles beneath her eyes with makeup, and make herself look less pale, but to no avail.

She watched him pull into her driveway. Sara fought the sudden urge to hide, or vomit. She could hear him walking up the steps, and there he was knocking on the door.

"Hi Nick," Sara opened the door "Come in?"

"Hey, Sar, you feeling okay? You look a bit under the weather…" Nick was concerned by her paleness, and the circles beneath her eyes.

"Nicky, lets go get lunch, then we'll talk okay?" Sara took him gently by the arm, leading towards the outside.

After they arrived at La Cocina restaurant, Nick and Sara made their way to a secluded booth near the back of the restaurant. They were making small conversation when the waiter approached their table.

"Hey ya'll I'm Van, I'll be your waiter this afternoon, and what can I get ya?" The charismatic man asked.

"I'll take the Grilled Veggie Salad, with only grilled Onions and Peppers on top, also I'd like peppercorn parmesan dressing. And a diet coke." Sara ordered.

"I'll have a Grande Burger, with onions, peppers, jalapeños and lettuce please, and a coke. Thanks." Nick smiled as the man scampered off with their order.

"My, Nicky, it seems as if you are hungry or something." Sara joked, hoping that Nick wouldn't try to pressure into talking right away.

"I could probably eat a horse… but I prefer cow." Nick laughed.

The waiter returned quickly with their food, and Sara dug into her salad as if she'd not eaten in days. Nick ate with equally as much enthusiasm, and too soon for Sara's liking, their meal was over.


	3. Talk to me

Beautiful Child Broken Dream

Chapter 3

Author's note: This chapter was somewhat difficult for me to write. I admit it. Sorry for not updating sooner, schoolwork comes first. Sorry it's so short! I just HAD to stop and go to bed!

Nick followed Sara into her apartment, allowing his mind to wonder what it was that Sara needed to talk to him about. He sat on the couch as Sara wandered into the kitchen and came back with two glasses of ice tea. She joined Nick on the couch and took his hand in hers.

"Nick… please don't be angry with me" Sara struggled with the words "Something happened, and I thought you should know."

"What is it, honey, are you okay?" Nick began to feel fear in the pit of his stomach.

"When you called Catherine earlier… I didn't have my cell, because I was at the hospital." Sara took a deep breath, letting Nick absorb everything before continuing.

"What happ…?" Nick started but stopped when Sara held up a hand in protest.

"You have to promise me you won't get angry with me. Promise, Nick!"

"Okay, I promise, Sara." Nick's stomach had turned to lead.

"I was rushed to the hospital early this morning, and I had a miscarriage." Sara looked away, afraid of what Nick would say.

"Wait. You had a miscarriage? I didn't know you were pregnant. Why…"

"I didn't either. With my periods being irregular, I wouldn't have known for a while. I am so sorry Nick." Sara began to cry. Nick pulled her into his arms and kissed her cheek softly. "Are you angry at me?"

"Sara, love, I'm not angry. It wasn't your fault. Hey… hey…Sara..." Nick tried to get her to stop crying, quite unsuccessfully.

"Nick… It hurts. I feel like I've lost a part of my soul." Sara whispered as her tears slowed "I love you, and I guess I'm just afraid that now I'll lose you too."

"Why would you lose me? I'm not going anywhere. I promise." Nick held her in his arms "You look like you haven't slept in ages, sweetheart."

"I haven't. You know I can't sleep in hospitals… they creep me out." Sara yawned.

"Well, then sleepyhead, lets go get some sleep." Nick helped Sara to her feet and guided her to the bedroom. He held her in his arms as they both dozed off.

When Nick awoke, he found Sara sitting staring at him. She'd been watching him sleep. He sat up and took her hands in his, kissing them softly.

"I was just thinking, wondering… if he would have looked like you." Sara smiled meekly before swiping at a tear that was escaping down her cheek. Nick paused, about to say something when his cell rang. Glaring at the caller id, he answered.

"Stokes."


	4. No spoken word

Beautiful Child, Broken Dream

Chapter 4

A/N… I know this is gruesome. But hey… gore can be interesting!

Sara and Nick showed up and joined Grissom at the crime scene. Grissom had warned them that this was not pretty. Horrifying was more like it. There were several bodies, all female, with body parts interchanged. It would take hours to discern what parts belonged to which of the dismembered women. Fortune was on the team's side, however. A trail of bloody footprints led straight into the apartment across the hallway.

Damon Reedy wasn't home when the police knocked, but his girlfriend was. Melanie Gerkan opened the door. One look at Melanie, and the officers were surprised she hadn't been the fourth victim. Melanie was covered in bruises on every inch of bare skin that her tee-shirt didn't cover.

Hours later, Sara sat with Melanie in the hospital. Melanie's sister Alisyn was supposed to be arriving soon to be with her sister. The case had been nicknamed "The Puzzle Case" because it was going to take quite a while to put the puzzle together and figure out what parts belonged to which woman.

"He made me watch." Melanie said in barely a whisper. This was the first she had spoken, other than her name.

"What?" Sara asked in horror.

"He said he was going to chop me up too if I didn't stay quiet. He's gonna come back and kill me." Melanie continued hoarsely.

Before Sara could get an answer, Melanie lost consciousness. Sara was shuffled out of the room by Dr. Sharpe, and a large bunch of nurses who were trying to help.

"Hi, Ms. Sidle, I'm afraid that Ms Gerkan is in a coma, and no one can see her. Someone will call you if her condition changes." The kind older man said sympathetically.

Sara sighed heavily and headed towards her Denali. The sun had begun to rise, and Sara picked up her phone.

"Hi Nicky, you wanna get some breakfast?"

Sara arrived first at Benito's Burritos. She headed into the tiny off-strip dive. The term restaurant could only be used loosely. Seating herself at the furthest booth from the door, Sara looked around. The decor was eclectic at best, most everything being from Mexico, with a few glaring exceptions. One such exception was the 7 foot tall painting of Che Guevara hanging above her booth. She shook her head, and looked at the menu. When she looked up a minute later, Nick was standing over her.

"Isn't he Argentinean?" Nick laughed, sitting across from Sara.

"Good morning to you, too!" Sara chuckled.

Nick took Sara's hand in his and kissed her knuckles softly. Sara smiled, and blew him a kiss. He winked at her, and she licked her lips sensually. Nick growled softly.

"Keep that up and I'll be having you for breakfast." Nick couldn't disguise the lust in his voice. He felt a foot slowly tracing up his thigh.

Sara's foot quickly retreated, as the waiter appeared to take their order. Sara ordered a vegetarian breakfast burrito, and Nick had a double – steak burrito. Their meal went quickly, as both savored their delicious food. When the meal was finished, Sara and Nick headed back to Nick's apartment.

Nick led the way into the apartment, leading Sara by her hand. They sat on the couch, and Nick took Sara's hands in his. "Sara, I'm sorry. I should have been with you yesterday. You needed me and I wasn't there. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have had to go through that alone."

"Nicky… it's okay. I'm okay. I love you. Please don't blame yourself." Realizing she had just told Nick that she loved him for the first time, Sara smiled.

"I love you too, Sar. I've wanted to tell you that for a long time, but I've never found the right moment. You shouldn't blame yourself either, you know, it wasn't your fault." Nick choked out, his voice colored with tears.


	5. Hold Me

Nick watched Sara walk down the hallway towards Grissom's office. He hated to hide his emotions at work, but Ecklie was prowling the lab looking for reasons to punish the night shift. Sara soon exited Grissom's office and went into the DNA lab.

There was a loud crash, followed by a "Fuck." Nick leapt from the chair he was sitting in, and ran to see what happened. Sara's hand was sliced wide open, and she was staring at her hand blindly. Nick wrapped her hand with his and yelled for someone to call an ambulance. Calmly, Sara said "Why does the world like to fuck with me?" her voice steeled with anger, frustration. Just then, Ecklie slithered into entered the lab.

"Well, well, Sidle. What happened now? Maybe you should take some time off. After all, your hormones are all out of whack." Ecklie hissed.

If Sara's hand hadn't been bleeding, it would have connected squarely with his nose. Anger flashed in Sara's eyes, and fortunately for Ecklie, the paramedics had shown up. Fourteen stitches later, Sara met Nick in the lobby of Desert Palm.

"Shift's over. Lets head home. You've been here for four hours!" Nick said, holding Sara's arm gently, leading her out of the building. Nick drove towards Sara's apartment. He stopped and picked up some breakfast sandwiches for them. Sara reached for the doorknob, wincing feeling the sharp sting of pain when she grabbed it. Nick flopped down on the couch, and Sara joined him. They finished breakfast, and curled against each other. Sara's cell rang.

"Sidle." Sara answered grimacing.

"Hi Sara, its Grissom. How are you doing?" Grissom queried.

"I'm okay. But I'm tired. See you at work tonight."

"Actually. I won't. You are going to have to take the night off." Grissom explained sympathetically.

"Fine. See you tomorrow Griss." Against her wishes, Sara was being forced to take the night off. Why not use this to her advantage. Sara grinned evilly, and lead Nick into her bedroom. Sara pushed Nick into her bed, and straddled his hips. He slipped his shirt off, and she kissed her way down his chest.


End file.
